


Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful

by pure1magination



Category: Fantastic Four, Marvel, X-Men
Genre: Blizzards & Snowstorms, Christmas, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2752397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure1magination/pseuds/pure1magination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But the fire is so delightful...</p>
<p>in which the Fantastic Four's holiday preparations are interrupted by X-Men in need, in which there is a huge snowstorm, and in which people almost die, but everything is all right in the end</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh The Weather Outside Is Frightful

Johnny was singing what he thought was a hilarious version of “All I Want For Christmas Is You” titled “All I Want For Christmas Is Poo” while Susan handed Reed decorations for the top of the Christmas tree, and Ben was cursing as he hit his thumb for the thousandth time with the hammer, in his attempt to hang up the stockings over the fireplace- “How does that even hurt you? You’re made of rock,” Johnny pointed out.

Ben cursed some more and threw the hammer at Johnny, who ducked behind the couch.

“Knock it off, you two!” Susan commanded, carrying a box of ornaments.

Johnny stuck his tongue out at her as soon as she had her back turned.

And then, suddenly, there was a blue man with a tail standing in the middle of their living room. He appeared out of nowhere; no warning, no clap of thunder or whatever, he was just suddenly there. Far from apologizing for his transgression, he launched into a quick speech of, “My name is Kurt Wagner. I’m one of the X-Men. We need your help.”

“The X-Men,” Reed repeated cautiously, shrinking back down to regular size. “I’ve heard of you.”

“Aren’t you like, super-heroes?” Johnny supplied, arms crossed over his chest, stepping closer.

Kurt nodded. “Yes.”

“Then why do you need our help?”

Kurt’s expression was equal parts sad and frantic. “Ororo is out of control. She is in the middle of a blizzard, one which we cannot stop. We have already tried. Only two of us remain conscious; I am one of them. Please, we need your help!”

Johnny glanced at Reed, who was frowning thoughtfully at Kurt. “Where are they?”

Kurt seemed relieved. “I can take you to them. But I cannot teleport there, the way I did here; the way is no longer clear.”

Johnny pointed a finger and made a clicking noise. “Teleportation! _That’s_ how you got here!”

Kurt blinked. “Yes… that is what I just said.”

Johnny nodded sagely to himself.

“We’ll take the jet,” Reed supplied. “Suit up.”

* * *

Kurt explained more details on the way there, filling them in. They knew they were close when they found themselves in whiteout conditions. “I can barely see!” Reed warned, steering the plane warily.

“Keep going!” Kurt urged.

Reed’s knuckles tightened on the steering apparatus.

“Want me to fly out ahead?” Johnny offered.

“No,” Reed shot back immediately. “We don’t need you getting lost.”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t get lost.”

“Yes you would,” Kurt warned quietly, sitting on the edge of his seat and peering out in front of them. “There!” he pointed suddenly, straightening. “There she is!”

Barely visible, a woman dressed all in white with wildly flowing white hair and glowing white eyes was levitating, arms outstretched over her head. Were it not for her skintone and the yellow accents on her costume, she would have been invisible.

Reed began the descent. “Hang on!”

The plane’s descent was a bumpy ride, aggravated by sudden gusts of wind that knocked them this way and that. The plane landed with a jolt.

“Smooth like asphalt,” Johnny commented.

Reed was surprised by the odd compliment. “Uh.. thank you.”

“-in the spring. Before all the potholes are filled in.”

Reed’s expression settled back into a frown. “Thanks, Johnny,” he replied sarcastically.

The Fantastic Four disboarded the plane and followed Kurt to where he was hurriedly trekking through waist-deep drifted snow. They found several half-buried people scattered about, some in pairs. “She has been going like this for hours!” Kurt explained. “Rogue tried to stop her, but Ororo knocked her aside and sent her crashing into Gambit. I know not where he lies; Rogue got back up and tried again and last I saw her, she was with Logan. Jean tried to stop her with her telekinetic energy, but that backfired. I don’t know where Jubilee, or Scott, or Jean, or any of them are. Please! Help me find them!”

Johnny ignited. “Easier to do that if the snow is melted.” He set about melting a path in the snow.

“No!” Kurt held out his hand to stop him. “Please. I do not know where they are buried, or how deep.”

Johnny sighed. “You’re _really_ making this difficult for me, you know that?”

“Listen to him, Johnny,” Susan said, beginning to lose her patience with him. “All right, here’s what we’ll do. We’ll search for the injured and unconscious first. It’s more economic if we all split up.”

“I disagree,” Reed objected. “We should go in pairs. This storm is dense. It’s hard to see even twelve feet away.”

“But there are five of us,” Kurt pointed out.

Everyone exchanged looks.

Johnny shrugged. “I’ll be fine on my own.” He lit up for a second. “If anything happens,” he shouted over the wind, “At least you can see me from a distance!”

They reluctantly agreed that this made the most sense.

Johnny walked off by himself, melting the snow in front of him to make his job easier. As he made his way through the snow, he belted out things like ‘Let It Snow,’ ‘Winter Wonderland,’ and ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside.’ He walked and walked, starting to get bored with his job, wondering if he was going to find anybody.

Kurt and Ben found Logan holding a shivering and unconscious Rogue close to him, trying to keep her warm.

Susan and Reed found Jean and Scott, both unconscious, side-by-side facing each other in the snow.

They carried all four to the plane; Susan and Kurt stayed behind to tend to them while Reed and Ben set out to find the others.

Johnny was still walking. He was pretty sure he was headed the wrong direction, or had walked past someone, or something, because he really should’ve found someone by now.

And then suddenly there was a shock of pink beneath the snow. “I found someone!” he shouted, but no one was close enough to hear. He figured it must be a girl, because _who else would wear black leggings with hot pink stripes?_ He had to admit whoever she was, she had killer thighs. And killer lower legs, too, even if they are a tad muscular. Nice boots too. But he realized as he unburied the figure further that there was a bit too much muscle and-- _oof! Stubble!_

The guy was arrestingly handsome. Chiseled cheekbones accented by a black face frame, auburn locks plastered to his forehead with wet snow, a full lower lip that’s probably been kissed a thousand times-- yeah. This guy is one hell of a ladykiller. “Upsy-daisy,” Johnny grunted, hefting the guy up.

The guy’s head lolled back, lips parting. He was ice-cold and unresponsive.

Johnny freaked out for a second and set the guy back down. “Aw shit. Please don’t be dead!” He held an ear up to the guy’s mouth. After a moment, a hot puff of air gently stirred the hair on his cheek. _Well, he’s breathing._ “Come on. Wake up!” He slapped the guy’s face a few times, not hard enough to hurt. But the guy still didn’t respond. Upon further examination, the guy looked kinda vampirey. His skin was kinda pale, and his luscious ladykiller lips were turning kinda purple-- “Fuck. Come on, man.” But the attractive man remained as unconscious as he was attractive.

With a sigh, Johnny brought the man closer and turned up the heat until his body temperature was not quite hot enough to burn the guy, but almost. “Come on. Talk to me,” he said into the guy’s hair. He had the guy’s head tucked under his chin. “Come on. I know this is a little gay but bear with me okay? I’m not gay. I dunno if you are, I didn’t really think to ask. Not that you’d be able to answer anyway, since you’re unconscious. But I really need you to not be unconscious. Trust me, this is just as awkward for you as it is for me. I mean, unless you like it. But I can’t really ask you if you like it unless you wake up. So I really need you to wake up, okay? -Not just because this is kinda gay, I mean, I don’t have anything against gay people, I’m just not--”

The guy moaned and raised his head.

Johnny was once again arrested by his beauty; now that he had colour in his cheeks, and his lips were deep pink and only a few inches away from his face, he realized- _thanks, butterflies_ \- that okay, yeah, maybe he is a little gay.

“Captain America?” the guy husked, confused. His voice was deep and sexy and had a delicious drawl to it.

“Uh.. no. Johnny Storm.”

“Johnny,” the guy repeated, looking up at him.

Johnny’s heart stuttered. The guy had red-and-black eyes. _Holy shit._

“You’re warm.”

“I’m The Human Torch,” Johnny replied stupidly.

“Gambit,” the guy returned.

“What?”

Those delicious lips curled up on one side. “Mah name’s Gambit.”

“Oh.” Johnny had this nagging feeling that he was supposed to be thinking about something right now, other than whether or not any of those thousands of kisses had been with _guys_ or if the guy- Gambit- was willing to try that out, but wow this guy’s chin was really well-formed, and that little pad over the chinbone right below the lips looked so cushiony, like he could just rest his own chin there and--

Gambit turned his head to look at Ororo. “She’s still up dere,” he commented, worried. “She gon’ wear herself ou’.”

“What _is_ that accent!”

“Cajun,” Gambit replied distractedly.

Johnny decided that Cajun accents were the best accents. _Why do girls swoon over British accents anyway? I mean, have they_ heard _this guy?_

“Ah don’ suppose ya c’n flah?”

Johnny snorted. “Course I can fly.”

Gambit looked at him with renewed hope. “Think ya could ge’ her down?”

Johnny stood, all cocky smiles. “I could try.” Without further ado, he ignited and flew up towards the woman in white. “HEY!” he shouted over the wind. No sooner had the word left his mouth than he was roughly knocked aside by a lash of wind. He tumbled backward, somersaulting through the sky until he crashed into the snow about twelve feet away from Handsome Guy. “HEY!” he shouted again, annoyed. He shook himself off and headed for her again. He was knocked to the ground again with another gust of wind, landing about twenty feet away from Handsome Guy, who was watching him with diminishing hope.

Johnny wanted nothing more than to wipe that expression off his face. “All right, Lady, you asked for it!” Johnny concentrated hard and sent a wave of hot air towards her, resulting in a whirlwind. It took a lot of concentration, and a lot of control, but he did manage to trap her and lower her. “I just wanna talk!” he called, walking towards her.

“NO!” she spat. -No, spat’s not the right word. She sounded.. scared, more than anything.

Johnny held up his hands. “Hey, relax! I ain’t gonna hurtcha!”

“Stay away!” she bellowed, holding her hands out towards him. Johnny concentrated hard and counteracted whatever she was going to shoot at him, but he knew he couldn’t keep this up much longer.

“Look! Lady! You almost killed all your friends! I dunno what your problem is, but this is NOT the way to solve it!”

“Stay back!!” This wave was harder to counteract.

“Seriously lady! Whatever is bothering you, you need to just Let It Go! Let it go,” he switched to singing, “Can’t hold it back anymoooooore~”

The lady seemed angry, scared, and confused. Her confusion increased the more he sang, so he kept doing that. Just as he was entering the second refrain, he reached her and wrapped his arms around her, more to restrain her than anything. “Nothing personal, I just don’t like it this cold outside.” He kept her arms pinned to her sides. “I like it hot.”

“Good work, Johnny!” Reed congratulated, appearing suddenly behind him with Kurt. Reed wrapped himself around Ororo- literally- allowing Johnny to let her go- _let her go, can’t hold it back anymooore…_ just as he blacked out. The last thing he was conscious of was someone catching him.

So he missed Kurt disappearing, then reappearing with Logan. He missed the emotional conversation between Logan and Ororo that ended with a kiss, missed it when the snow stopped and Reed unwrapped himself from around Ororo the moment he realized she was going to be okay, missed being carried back to the plane, where everyone was wrapped in blankets and drinking hot cocoa. He missed Susan fussing over him, missed the curious glances from the X-Men.

But most of all, he missed the strong arms that carried him to the plane, the deep voice that wouldn’t accept hot cocoa and insisted he was warm enough already, the way he was gently laid down on a couch.

When he came to, his mouth tasted pleasantly like chocolate. He was laying on something soft, covered in something else soft, and when he opened his eyes, they took a moment to adjust to the light, but his eyes had barely opened when he was aware of a dark shape suddenly hovering over him and saying his name. “Mmm?”

“I told you he’d be all right,” his sister’s voice comforted, a bit wryly. “He just needed some calories.”

Johnny rubbed his eyes.

“You’re sure?” a delicious deep voice inquired, worried.

He could practically hear his sister’s eyeroll. “He’s done this before. Idiot doesn’t know his limits.”

“He saved mah friend!”

Johnny blinked, eyes coming into focus. Handsome Gu-- Gambit was looming towards his sister, fists clenched.

She held her hands up, ready to make a shield if necessary. “Whoa! Okay, calm down!”

“Fighting over me?” Johnny smirked.

Gambit’s defensive posture immediately eased as he whirled to face “Johnny!”

Johnny waved a hand.

“Told you he’d be fine,” his sister grumbled.

Gambit strode towards him, coming to a stop in front of the couch. He crossed his arms over his chest. Johnny noticed he had partially fingerless gloves and couldn’t help thinking those were cool. And wow, his fingers are hot. So long and well-shaped-- “Your sistah told meh abou’ how your powahs work. Ah couldn’ help feelin’ it was partly mah fault tha’ ya fainted.”

Johnny blew off his concern with a raspberry-noise and a wave of his hands. “No worries! I just needed a snack, is all.”

“Yeah bu’ if Ah hadn’ tried tuh catch Rogue, Ah wouldn’t’ve been knocked unconscious, and--”

“Remy, that wasn’ your fault!” Rogue interjected.

Remy?’s shoulders slumped a little. “But ‘e had tuh go searchin’ for meh undah the snow…”

Johnny was sitting now, leaving a huge open spot next to him on the couch. He shrugged like it was no big deal, even though he’d been cold and bored and getting tired even before he thawed Remy.

“Ah owe ya one,” Gambit said very seriously, meeting Johnny’s eyes.

“Take me out for pizza sometime,” was the first thing that came to mind and thus the first thing out of Johnny’s mouth.

Gambit frowned. “Pizza? In exchange fo’ savin’ mah life?”

“You’re right. That’s worth a lot of pizza.”

Gambit’s frown deepened until he observed the twinkle in Johnny’s eyes. Then his frown eased and those luscious ladykiller lips spread into a smile. “All righ’, but Ah’m gonna have tuh insist on more than pizza.”

Johnny’s smile turned flirtatious. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

* * *

The X-Men thanked the Fantastic Four for their help, Ororo apologized profusely for the trouble she’d caused- Logan’s arm around her waist more often than not- and, one scrap of paper exchanged between Gambit and Johnny later, the X-Men were taking their leave of the Fantastic Four’s plane.

The sun was shining, and Johnny sang Christmas carols too loudly all the way home.

Ben asked him to stop.

So Johnny started singing about poop again.

Ben had had it up to here with Johnny singing. “You ought to be singing that sappy Mariah Carey song,” he muttered loud enough for Johnny to hear.

“Mariah Carey?” Johnny questioned, nose wrinkled in confusion.

Susan, too, had had enough of Johnny’s stupid poop-based parodies, so she found the song on her iPod and blasted it.

Johnny’s cheeks were pink and he looked halfway between laughing and screaming the whole time. He kept asking her to turn it off, but she would neither turn it off, nor down, until the song was over.

“The fuck was that about!”

Ben gave him a look.

“What!!”

Susan raised her eyebrows at him. “You asked for his phone number?”

“He gave it to me!”

Ben kept staring at him, still giving him that look.

“You gonna call him?” Reed piped up.

“I’m flying home.” Johnny stood abruptly and headed towards the back of the plane.

The rest of the Fantastic Four were all silently commenting to each other on his Johnny-ness when Johnny knocked on a window and shouted, “OF COURSE I AM! HE OWES ME PIZZA!”


End file.
